save me from drowning in the vast sea of life

You know what sucks?

Being friends with someone who will throw you away the minute that someone finds someone else. 

So, there’s this someone I like.

And that someone likes me back.

But we both agreed that we’d remain friends but we like each other.

I don’t know if that will work.

That person is leaving in a few months and I’m still unsure of what will happen to us.

I’ve got no idea. No fucking idea.

Don’t you think this is fucked up?

I wanted to disappear. I wanted to leave. I wanted to just fall off the face of the earth.

I tried that. It didn’t work.

I still feel crappy. I still feel lonely. I still feel like I don’t deserve any of this.

My life is currently under construction. Wait for, cliche as it may sound, the new me. I needed this renovation. I needed to fix my life. My life’s been broken enough and it’s now the time to fix it.

Wait for me. And once I’m fixed, please don’t break me again.

Forgive me for not writing. Words at times fail me. I couldn’t find the words to describe the emotions I felt for the last few weeks. It has been wild and crazy. Bipolar, I may add. It’s just been so dreadful. I’ve undergone a drastic change and I’m still getting used to this change. I will not forget you, dear tumblr of mine. I will not.

Why have I not been writing?

1. I ran out of words to say.

2. I have nothing to write about.

3. Nothing is worthy to write about.

4. My life is pretty much boring.

I feel like I’m void of emotions now because of what you did. I think this will pass. So wait for it, to whoever reads my ranting, I’ll write again pretty soon.

But in the mean time, I’ll try to restore my feelings. Maybe it’s somewhere deep down inside. Wait for it. I’ll come back. Or maybe, I’ll just be able to write in a couple of hours. Who knows, something eventful might appear out of thin air.

Sometimes I just want to quit everything that I’m doing and runaway from here. Today is one of those times.

Let me warn you, don’t bother trying to win me over when you’re not sure that you’ll stick long enough. Walk away if you still can. Don’t torture me.

I don’t want another person breaking me when I’m barely even whole yet.

Please. I’m practically begging now.